Temptations
by PixieGirl17
Summary: The thoughts of Madame Suliman before Sophie comes in.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Howl's Moving Castle

Temptations

For **Ponyo is awesome**

All humans had their vices. Even witches and sorcerers had them. Heavens knows Suliman had them. She just didn't make them publicly obvious unlike many of her ex-students. For some it was the need to be beautiful. Others it was just for a few days of pleasure of another persons company. It could be anything. For her...Well that would be telling if she even thought about it. It was always best to keep ones weaknesses at the back of ones mind in case someone would be powerful enough to snatch those secrets from you. She had to indulge in the weaknesses of others sometimes. The King for example, but that had to go without saying if you wanted to keep your head. Suliman looked up from the King's letter when she heard the bell ring to tell her that her guests had arrived. A small smile crept across her face even though there was a hint of regret in her eyes. It was time. She wasn't completely happy that her enemies had to be the two young people who were once as close to her as being her own children. Then again, she knew the day had come for them to come back home. It also happened to be the day when they would cease to be what they been for so many decades. It was about time to put an end to their little rebellions. If she allowed them to continue it would only encourage the rest of their peers to follow suit. She couldn't let that happen. It would be chaos.

There would be no order or obedience. Those were the only two things which could keep society together and stop it from falling into the worst nightmare which could be created in a politicians or monarchs imagination. It was the only thing which could hold herself in place. To stop her from indulging in her own inner temptations. If she gave into them she would become as wild and uncontrollable as the other two. She would loose all her power if diligence had gone to waste. She would have to force herself to strip herself of all her powers if she wasn't going to use them without restraint. It was the only thing she had left now that she lost what was most dear to her years and years ago when she was barely an adult. She had to do the right thing. Still, she didn't like that she had to do this. There was still a shred of morality in her even when she had to do slightly immoral things in order to protect what she held most dear. Even though it was going to be a struggle to take it from them but she knew she had to do it. She hated that she had to do it but there was no other way to win this war. Even though she didn't entirely agree with it actually taking place but she knew it would be the only way that she could remain in the powerful position she was in. She had other sorcerers and sorceresses to protect. Ones which deserved to keep their power. Ones who were not as selfish as either Howl or the Witch of the Wastes.

She could remember when she first met them. She had to admit she didn't think much of them on first sight but after being in their company for a while she could see that they both had great potential only to watch them for long enough to witness them throwing that all away. The Witch of the Wastes was the first and the older of the two. There was nothing special about their first meeting. Although she had to admit looking back in hindsight that there was something which should have warned her about the later troubles they would both encounter. She could remember the authorities having a bit of a problem with her and brought her to Suliman, apparently she had been stealing and pickpocketing in the streets through the use of magic. She had no parents to speak of, in fact when Suliman once tried to find out about them she simply replied that she couldn't remember who her parents were. Although she had a feeling that it was a matter of her not wanting to remember them judging from the bruises and scars all over her arms and legs. But Suliman was never one to make presumptions. It could have been anyone or anything who had done that to her. Who was she to judge? Besides, later on she would have claimed that they would have been very right to beat her considering her behaviour. But then again you really shouldn't say that about anyone. Sometimes that was the reason why people became so cruel. It could have been someone else who beat her.

She was a street urchin when she first met her. She was dirty, pathetic little creature when she first found her. Her clothes were torn and her eyes were like wide, glowing globes. She was asking for nothing but mercy and pity that day. Even Suliman could see that she needed help. Despite her actions on some occasions her heart wasn't made of complete stone. She was a skinny, little waif and looked like she hadn't eaten in months. Poor child. She was never really beautiful as much as she wanted to hide it. Once she discover the extents of her magic she now at the excuse to use it order to become 'beautiful'. She was never, ever beautiful. Not on the outside nor on the inside. She once had the most beautiful, flaming red hair. She wondered if she still did. Sometimes when it was blowing in the wind she would think it was like a warning flag. When she would go to wake her sometimes it would be splayed about her pillow and neck and would look like her throat had been slit in her sleep. Suliman would brush the strands of her hair away from her neck before waking her, fearing that it was some ill-omen. Still, that was her one and only beauty but it also reflected her greatest flaw. Scorn. Some said that those with red hair had fiery souls and the Witch of the Wastes was no different. She always found it difficult to forgive others and made it her aim in life to make others suffer as much as she could when they wronged her. She had so much potential to be a powerful sorceress but all she ever wanted was to be beautiful...

_Suliman walked down the corridor after she had finished getting ready for the dinner. She knew it was going to be a great success. It was all about the confidence and knowing that everything was in place so that nothing could go wrong. That was the trick which most people should know but didn't. Then again her mother was a socialite so she had a good teacher in the affairs of being a good hostess. If her sister was still around she would have been doing this for her...Cara would have always been better at hosting parties than she would ever be. That was why she was going to be the sister that would marry well...She nodded towards the servants as she walked past them, giving them reassuring smiles that the evening was going to go smoothly. They all looked so worried. She supposed it was a good sign that they cared. Still she knew that there was going to be nothing for them to worry about. She was fastening her earring to her ear as she walked down the corridor. This was an important night, not just for herself but also for Rosalind. That was the name which she chose for herself. Suliman was never really sure whether that was her actual name and highly doubted that it was. Rosalind wasn't exactly a common name amongst the lower classes. She probably chose that name because it made her believe that she sounded beautiful. Why did she have to be so vain?_

_When she walked into the room she almost let out a scream. It wasn't because she saw something horrific it was more out of surprise and also something which brought back so many memories. She thought someone had broken into the house and held Rosalind hostage somewhere. Sitting at the dressing table was a beautiful young girl brushing her hair. She had amber coloured eyes with small specks of green dotting about her iris. She had lily white, marble smooth looking skin. Her back arched as gracefully as a swans neck and had the figure of a ballet dancer. For a moment she thought it was Cara. Then again Rosalind still had to work on her powers of illusion. The only thing which stopped Suliman from screaming was that she knew that it was Rosalind. She knew this because of her hair. She didn't change her hair. That was what made her stand out when she first saw her. It was just like Cara's hair...For a moment she wanted to turn her away upon this account. It would bring back too many memories...It was the same fiery, bright red which so many people coveted. When guests visited they would reach out to stroke her hair and compliment the little girl upon her beautiful hair. But Rosalind knew that was her only physical redeeming feature. They said this in the tone of voice which almost suggested that the beauty of her hair almost made up for her lack of beauty. The girl glanced over her shoulder and blinked. _

"_Katherine? What is it?"_

_Suliman retained her posture and straightened her dress. "I see you've been practising your illusionary powers, Rosalind."_

_Rosalind beamed and got up from her seat and spun round. "Well what do you think?"_

_Suliman gave herself a moment to observe her appearance. "It is very well done."_

_She could tell that this wasn't the answer Rosalind was looking for from the look on her face. Her smile altered a little but she still didn't let Suliman's comment dampen her spirits. _

"_But...Don't I look beautiful?"_

_Suliman shrugged. "Of course. But that isn't all that matters, Rosalind. I've told you this before. You have it much easier than pretty girls for you to know whether a man loves you-"_

"_I told you, Katherine. This isn't what its about." She snapped. _

"_Really? Then why Rosalind? Why are you so determined to be beautiful and to waste your powers on such a trivial issue. You can do so much good with your powers. I have never seen anyone so...I've never met anyone with so much potential. It's just a shame that you have to waste your time on this..."_

"_Why? What's wrong with being beautiful?"_

"_It brings a woman a lot of problems." She replied. _

"_It also bring a woman a lot of obstacles to be ugly as well." Rosalind replied. _

_Suliman shook her head and turned to walk out the door. "I'll see you downstairs." _

Suliman never told her what she meant by that last comment. She never told anyone about the sadness which gnawed at her heart until there was nothing left but hatred. That was why she was the way she was. She was never able to show any sign of affection for another being since the death of her sister. She was really the only person she had ever loved. They were so close to one another as children. She treated her almost as if she were her own daughter. She could remember her sister being incredibly beautiful. If Rosalind had known her she would have used her as a template for her illusions. The problem with Rosalind was she only saw the materialistic side to being beautiful. She never understood what pains it was for a woman to be beautiful. It welcomed a lot of unwanted attention. Sometimes it could be her undoing...There was one man who her sister caught the attention of. He happened to be a very powerful man in parliament with a reputation with being a 'bit of a ladies man'. He would look at her as if he was a wolf and she was his meal. The looks he gave her frightened her as well as Suliman. As the beautiful sister she was responsible for being the one who married well but she was even willing to incur their fathers wrath opposed to accepting his proposal. She would rather marry a man who was likely to be faithful to her opposed to someone who made their activities public knowledge even before they were married.

One night her sister was walking home one night from a friends house, when Suliman thought that she would be alright for this one time it turned out this would be the last and only night her sister would walk along that slippery slope. She should have known looking back that it was not safe for a young woman to walk by herself. Especially a beautiful young woman. She had been attacked and beaten to death that night. When she heard the news after calling the Guard to look for her when she was late she felt nauseous. She knew what had happened before he even opened his mouth. There were signs that someone had forced themselves upon her and Suliman knew in an instant that it was him. No one had told her at first and her parents refused to let her see her body but she came in one day giving a fake name and saw for herself. She almost felt like she was going to vomit when she saw the bruises and the violations made upon her body. She eventually burst into tears and backed into the corner. The coroner had to rush off to the reception to call her parents as they later found out who she was. Her parents looked more disappointed in themselves rather than her for being there. They supposed they should have seen this coming. She blamed herself at first, she told herself she should have gone rather than stayed at home studying and then she wouldn't have to walk home alone. She should have known that she was in danger.

Why didn't she ask her how she was going to get home? She knew Cara could be careless about things like that. She needed someone to plan it out for her sometimes. She wasn't meaning to say this in a patronizing or insulting manner, but sometimes she just didn't think about these things. She still believed the world to be a safe place to go out into at a certain time of night. Unfortunately she wasn't able to survive the lesson which taught her the contrary to that presumption. Her parents were away on holiday so therefore she was responsible for her sister. That one night when she decided to let her have some fun without her older sister watching over her like a hawk she had practically thrown her to the lions. She should have known that he would be after her till the end. There was no doubt about it. So she had seen first hand the downsides of being beautiful. She should have told Rosalind, years after she had seen her sisters dead corpse. That should have been her warning or a good reason to warn other girls for desiring such a thing. Perhaps it would have put her off altogether and may have stopped all of this from happening but it was too much for her to talk about it. Any time was too soon to speak about her sister. After her death it was almost as if she had never existed. All that were left were her bones and memories. It was too painful to go back to that days to when she found out why she never came home and when she saw the end result.

Although she had to admit she shared her lust for revenge with Rosalind as eventually that politician met his end when he was discovered of treason on her behalf and was more than willing to bring this information forward. She had been searching for it for years. Through those years when she had to attend those social events when she would see him laughing with other men of high rank. Politicians. Princes. Merchants. Anyone who could give him better social standing and more money to fill his pocket. It was disgusting just watching him. On some occasions he would look across the room and their eyes would meet. He would smirk as if he knew he had gotten away with it but she would glare back telling him that his days were almost up. When she saw the look on his face when he was sentenced their eyes met and he saw from the small, malicious smile on her face that she knew he was guilty. In that moment he knew what he was really being put on trial for. She had never felt so satisfied before and wanted to be able to do it over and over again. She did on some occasions but she knew she couldn't make a habit out of it otherwise someone would find out. Someone would see through her and know what her weakness was. That was when it began for her. She was just as guilty as Howl and Rosalind with concerns to being tempted. They were all vain beings with their vices. For Rosalind it was the need to be beauty. For Suliman it was the lust for power. For Howl...it was that yearning for self-indulgence.

He called it happiness or freedom. She saw it as a pathetic excuse for such indulgence in hedonism. Why was not serving the Academy and what it meant to be a sorcerer so difficult? Why did they have to see it as a death sentence? She couldn't see what their objections were to live the life she had been leading for so many years. She had her slip ups yes, but she didn't allow them to get the best of her. Whatever that was. None of these things could be gained in this world without having another immoral motive behind it. Some people even took happiness to another level which led to the decrease in another man's happiness. Freedom could sometimes involve being freed from the law which were put in place for a reason. No. He didn't want happiness or freedom. He wanted something more than that. He wanted to take those two concepts to an entirely new level of selfishness. He just wanted a glorified excuse for a hedonistic lifestyle which could be made more glorious and extravagant by his unparalleled abilities. He should have used his powers for good. Like Rosalind he could have been so much more if he hadn't allowed himself to be tempted and corrupted by a falling star. A demon. He even gave it a name which made him even more attached to the damnable creature. She put the letter down and waited for 'Mrs Pendragon' to come in. This was certainly going to be interesting...


End file.
